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Common Ground Makes For Better Relationships

Often times, we find ourselves attracted to people who are different from us. Is it because they are a breath of fresh air? Is it because we tend to want things we do not have? Or is this attraction limited to a certain extent?

Can stark contrasts in persona’s result to a failed marriage? Can it become a convenient excuse for a change of heart? Let us scrutinize two couples, John and Victoria, on opposite poles, and Jason and Christine, very much on the same page.

When John and Victoria were introduced at a party, they were immediately attracted to each other. Soon after exchanging phone numbers, they started dating. Victoria was fascinated that John was so good with computers; and totally unlike her. He was often late; but this did not bother her. Her focus was on learning new things about him. However, as expected, the initial high of courtship eventually began to subside. Ms. Punctuality to her friends, Victoria started noticing Johns disrespect for time.

He, on the other hand, began feeling the pangs of her nagging about his constant tardiness. To top it off, she wondered why he never thought of giving her golf gifts, given the fact that she is a golf lover and a collector of golf items. But how could John have thought of this? He was never into sports, and so would not understand the joys of collecting sports-related keepsakes. In relation to all these, Victoria doubts if John will ever get around to giving her a solitaire engagement ring and propose marriage.

During the same party, Christine and Jason also met. Unlike the previous couple, the meeting ended at that. It was in a bowling tournament that they both joined that they linked up again. Having the same set of friends, they would at times have coffee before heading out their own ways. Soon, they began having warm up bowling games together. Not long after, Jason grew a liking for Christine’s company, even while their conversations grew longer. Unlike his ex, Christine is very much into the sport, and who better to understand his spending much time and money on it, than her.

Given the above scenario, do you think Mike and Kay will get to the point where they decide to marry and rejoice over early pregnancy signs together? Having mutual attraction in the early part of courtship is a big help. However, unless supported by compatible character, it is doubtful that it will go any further; and even more doubtful that it should.

There is nothing really wrong with either one of their lifestyles. It is just that they do not complement each other. If couples cannot find quality time to spend together, or have quality conversations, how can we expect for the relationship to grow?

Everything starts with chemistry. If this chemistry is the initial physical attraction between two people, it must be sustained by common principles and common character traits. Otherwise, it will eventually fade away.

my two cents

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